The two biggest networking mistakes when job searching

The internet has lots of advice on networking that ranges from painfully self-evident to makes-you-feel-sleazy. But networking doesn’t have to be transactional, awkward, or burdensome.

Your network is really just the people you already know. All the people—your mom’s coworker, your college roommate’s little sister, your old boss.

And networking is simply the act of meeting new people through the people you already know. Informational interviews (Zoom or IRL) or coffee chats are traditional ways of doing this, but you can meet people anywhere (on the bus, at a party, buying groceries). There’s lots of useful advice out there on how to build and maintain relationships (and ideally you invest in this at times you aren’t job searching). Here’s a resource I’ve been recommending to folks for years: How to Become Insanely Well-Connected.

There are four main phases to an information interview: the reach out, the conversation itself, the ask, and the follow up. I’ll talk more about the mechanics of how to conduct high-value, low-stress informational interviews in another post. But there are two common mistakes I see job seekers commit over and over again in the last two steps of the process that are easily corrected. They don’t:

1.  Have a clear ask at the end of the meeting or call

2. Let folks know how the story ended/keep the relationship warm

What to ask for?

Job seekers often think/hope the point of the informational interview is to get a referral from that person.

But this risks tainting the entire conversation with a transactional vibe, both parties know the only goal is a referral and the conversation itself is a pretense. And it also misunderstands how referrals work at many companies (I’ll get into this more in another post).

Instead, ask them if they can introduce you to 1-2 of their connections. This is a far more doable request for them and will benefit you more in the long run.

If you truly hit it off with the person, they will often offer a referral unprompted. If so, great! But otherwise give them as specific a request as possible for other folks you’d like to meet.

Tell people how the story ends.

Don’t only reach out when you need something from someone. If they’ve taken the time to talk with you at least once, they’re a bit invested in your story, like they’ve watched one episode of a long-running TV series.

There are three great points to follow up with a new connection.

Shortly after you talk.

Thank them for their time and tell them something specific and helpful you learned from them. This makes them feel great about themselves and will encourage them to share that useful information with others in the future.

This is also a natural and non-cringey moment to follow up on any action items discussed during the conversation.

After you meet with the people they introduced you to.

Send a short email thanking them for the intro and sharing something specific you learned from that conversation. 

Once you find a new position/other milestone in your career or job search.

Folks love good news! People love to hear how the story turned out and especially that they were helpful in your search. It also provides an opportunity to reach out where you aren’t asking for anything. And now they also know they have a connection at your new company. You never know, they may have a question or request for you before long!

These approaches may feel formal or old fashioned, but they can be translated to your own style. Like anything, the more you practice, the easier it gets. Networking and job searching often involve asking for help which is uncomfortable and scary, but these approaches make it easier and more enjoyable for people to help you.